Posts Tagged ‘sex’
Okay, lets face it, having the privilege to call yourself a wife and a mom isn’t always glamorous. Especially if you are a “stay at home” mom. Especially if you are a “have a job” mom. Especially if you are a ” teach your own kids school” mom. It’s all hard, tiresome work. We moms know what it is like to be utterly and completely exhausted. We are spent. Their isn’t anything left for us to give at the end of the day.
Do you know what advise your husband probably got before he married you? “Hey, don’t get married and have kids! Do you know what that means?!!” And with raised eyebrows they say, “No more sex.” They shake their heads with horrified eyes, “Don’t do it,. I’m speaking from experience, man.” And your fiancé triumphantly thinks, “That’s not going to happen to me. My sweetie loves me!”
Well, yes. Of course you love your husband. That hasn’t stopped just because you got married and had kids. If anything, it has intensified your love. After all, everything you do everyday comes from a loving heart. “There just isn’t enough of me to go around.”, you may say. “I just can’t do it all.”
Here is where your journey starts. You may ask, “What are you talking about? I have been on my journey the day I got married!” I say, “Yes, you have been on your own journey, by yourself, working hard, all on your little lonesome. Just you and you.” How is that working out for you?
Until anyone comes to the place where they say, “I can’t do this anymore. I need help. I need advise. I’m ready to learn.” Then and only then are they truly ready to get wisdom from someone who has been in their place many times before. Someone who understand. Someone who has made it through with Help.
1. I would say first and foremost on your journey, you need to realize that we live in a fallen world. We are going to fail. Our husband is going to fail. And our children will try to embarrass and harass us at every turn. It is what it is.
2. So how do we live in this fallen world with all these failing people? First God commands us to love them. Not love them for what they do for us. Not love them when they perform the way we think they should. Not love ourselves only when we do what we think we should. Who is being the judge here? Who is deciding what is acceptable and what is not? Who is the one that needs to be satisfied in order to have peace and joy?
3. God is the judge. Not us. What is He like? Well, He loves everyone for who they are. He never forces anyone to love Him. He woos us all with His love for us. He gives all a choice to set their eyes on Him and obey Him because they want to. Sounds so peaceful, right? That is the plan for all mankind. Peace and joy in Him who loves us.
4. Rest is Jesus. He gave you the husband you have. He gave you the children you have. Your husband is a child of God. You are a child of God. Your children are God’s children. Trust your Heavenly Father. He knows what is best and loves you all more than you can imagine. “Set your affections on things above….” He tells us. Where is your focus? Where is your devotion? Where is your allegiance? Where is your sanctuary?
5. Entrust your responsibility as a wife and mother to the One who has given you the job. He is the one responsible. He is the one who will give you everything you need to do the job. It’s not about doing the job perfect. It’s about doing the job with the right focus and motive. When your focus is on yourself and how you are going to do the right thing, you will fail and beat yourself up every time. This gets depressing. This isn’t fun. This isn’t God’s plan. His plan is for you to keep your eyes on Him. What would you have me to do? What would you have me to say? What is the best way to handle this situation?
6. This is a moment by moment relationship. Start on your journey today. You will be amazed at how much control you are clutching to. You will be amazed at how much God loves you. You will be amazed at how close you can become to your Creator. It is amazing! Just start. “What would you have me to do right now, Lord?” Then simply obey. Live in the present. What is going on right now? Because God is in the “right now.” There and only there will you find Him. Take the step of faith for a life of faith. It’s worth it!
I have given this book to many blushing brides. Everyone of them have told me later on that they were so thankful for this book. Even the couple that were too busy to read the book before the wedding, found it most helpful after they had become frustrated at what they thought would just “happen”. Let me tell you, it doesn’t just happen.
More and more I am finding that mother’s avoid telling their daughters about anything. And when I say anything, I mean anything! I’m not sure why this is. I am truly thankful for my mother. She scavenged for just the right book and found this one. My fiancé and I were able to read this, not together but at separate times, before the wedding night. I was a virgin. I was fascinated to find out things about myself that I never knew. In reading this book I was amazed yet again at God’s loving details in creating our bodies. I was able to prepare myself mentally, spiritually, and physically for this special night.
If you are a virgin you will not be able to “just have sex”. This book describes why and how to help for your first time. If the man is not careful he can cause great discomfort that will last a good week after you have made it back from the honeymoon. You might not want this. Doesn’t sound like a lot of fun? Well this book helps it to be fun. Patience is key, after knowledge. You may ask, “Why didn’t God make it more natural and easier?” I don’t know. It is what it is and has been for thousands of years. So take a deep breath and read this book. You’ll do fine!
First of all this book describes what God intended sex to be. Not what the world and Satan have made it to be. Next it tells how your bodies work and how sex works. It gives a lot of information for the man. He needs to know how to please you just as much as you pleasing him. A common issue for men is getting excited too soon. This book teaches the woman how to help. The book covers all kinds of problems or issues that might come up for the couple.
If you do not want to get pregnant on your wedding night you may want to consider talking about birth control. This book describes all the different options out there. What are the pros and cons of them. What are the side effects. If you are leaning towards a more natural approach, an excellent book is Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, MPH. This book is best purchased well in advance of your wedding so you can practice this method for several months before the wedding night in order to ensure it’s effectiveness. If this is not possible for you, then you can use some other birth control until you have a chance to read and practice the book’s information at a later date. Some birth controls out there do cause you to abort the baby (fertilized egg). This book is open and honest in letting you know which ones they are.
Some very important things to remember if you do not want to get pregnant……..Read about what foreplay is. You can get pregnant from any kind of “fluid” that comes from the man and it doesn’t have to be put up into your vagina!!! This may seem graphic, but it is the only way to help you understand the importance of it. If you are too rough with a condom during foreplay it could tear or get a hole in it just when you need it. All it takes is a tiny, tiny hole. Also, if you “mess around” too long after the fact; the “juices” can come out around the seam of the condom and this is enough!!!
It is good to take this book with you on your honeymoon. You will want to refer back to it after you have had some hands on experience.
Last but not least; keep in mind that it is not at all unusual for a virgin couple to not have sex on their wedding night. Do not feel like you are a looser because you don’t get it done that night. You are virgins!!! This is a great honor; not shameful, wimpy, or disgraceful!
Guys, put away pride forever!!! It is not becoming. And if you haven’t kissed before the wedding; you will need to take it easy or else the wife will have swollen, red, and hurt lips. This is not fun. Your lips aren’t toughened up to the whiskers. It doesn’t matter if he has just shaved or not. They are tender. Crazy, but true! God bless!!!
Here is a book that Kasey first read. She gave it to me to read, thinking it would be good to give away at our home parties. I read it and gleaned so much truth, (from it’s many topics to it’s openness about difficult issues).
Some of it’s topics are ….
What does God think about sex?
“I think that most of us view sex differently than God does. Many people think that God views sex as sinful. Or maybe we don’t associate sex in the same thought as God. The truth is God gave us the wonderful gift of sex.”
In this book the authors dive into God’s Word, shedding light on how God views sex and how we should too.
Satan has desecrated God’s beautiful gift of sex. God desires that a husband and wife be naked and unashamed; glorying in the giving and receiving of exquisite pleasure and rejoicing in the intimate oneness that sex brings -the way God intended.
Where can I go to buy a new body?
Rules, rules, rules. This world is full of them, right? We can’t see them, but they are still there.
1. Thou Shalt Be Thin!
2. Thou Shalt Have Perfectly Large, Firm Breasts!
3. …..on and on
We all know these rules can not be kept. Especially after children!
As long as we listen to the world’s message about our bodies we will never be satisfied with how we look. Instead of listening to the world’s message we need to listen to what God says. “Rejoice in the body I gave you. Use it to honor Me and please your husband.”
This book helped me in many ways. I hope everyone can get the experience to read this book.
How Can I Get over the Guilt of Past Sexual Sin?
I’m Attracted to Another Man! Help!
How Can I Remain Faithful in a Faithless World?
What Do I Do When He Has a Headache?
How Can I Get Rid of Guilt over My Abortion?
My Husband Is into Pornography -What Should I Do?
Is It Possible to Get Beyond the Pain of Sexual Abuse?